Bapjigditlun is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, duplicitous grasshopper.

Bapjigditlun created Africa eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bapjigditlun, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Bapjigditlun, it will destroy your favourite star.

Bapjigditlun's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Bapjigditlun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Never chant near eagles.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never think about special relativity near goats while wearing brown tights and balancing eight lead spheres on your neck.

5. Never eat bark.