Flan Donhenbif is a god.

He takes the form of a small, quiet salamander.

Flan Donhenbif created snails two billion years ago.

If you believe in Flan Donhenbif, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Flan Donhenbif, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Flan Donhenbif's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Flan Donhenbif's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never think about galaxies.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Never talk about ribonucleic acid.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force near pigs while wearing red scarves and balancing three carbon spheres on your head.