Monxinfet is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, cheerful guinea pig.

Monxinfet created the planet Jupiter two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Monxinfet, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Monxinfet, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Monxinfet's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Monxinfet's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about special relativity near doves while wearing pink dresses.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never talk about tortoises.