Hoglarnkopgof is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, caring donkey.

Hoglarnkopgof created Europe five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hoglarnkopgof, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Hoglarnkopgof, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Hoglarnkopgof's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Hoglarnkopgof's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never laugh in the presence of bats.

3. Never think about optics near shrews while wearing red shoes and balancing seven carbon spheres on your arms.

4. Always wear fawn.

5. Always treat capybaras with great respect.