Jarnlopmit is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, unfair lion.

Jarnlopmit created Europe nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jarnlopmit, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Jarnlopmit, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Jarnlopmit's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Jarnlopmit's Holy Commandments

1. Manatees are not to be trusted.

2. Never wear shoes.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Never feed lentils to capybaras while wearing magenta hats.

5. Never play with disobedient children.