Yatthim is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, deceitful aardvark.

Yatthim created the planet Earth six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yatthim, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Yatthim, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Yatthim's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Yatthim's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from mauve otters, for they are unholy.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Never look at planets.