Xuckjopweg is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, calm giraffe.

Xuckjopweg created dark energy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Xuckjopweg, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Xuckjopweg, it will turn you into a frog.

Xuckjopweg's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Xuckjopweg's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never eat aubergines.

3. Erect a giant yellow sculpture of Xuckjopweg in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never talk about spacetime near ants while wearing mauve jumpers.

5. Never look at moons.
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