Vonstragdim is a god.

It takes the form of a small, happy guinea pig.

Vonstragdim created the world two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vonstragdim, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Vonstragdim, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Vonstragdim's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Vonstragdim's Holy Commandments

1. Seals are unholy and should not be approached.

2. You must pray to Vonstragdim seven times a day.

3. Never think about dark energy near eagles while wearing indigo boots and balancing six titanium spheres on your feet.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate voles.