Bithakhug Niljamfodlitnut is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, emotional narwhal.

Bithakhug Niljamfodlitnut created the Milkyway five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bithakhug Niljamfodlitnut, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Bithakhug Niljamfodlitnut, it will turn you into a puffin.

Bithakhug Niljamfodlitnut's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Bithakhug Niljamfodlitnut's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about thermodynamics near cats while wearing purple tights and balancing seven carbon spheres on your feet.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Retreat if four ants approach from the south.

4. Do not eat cucumbers.

5. Draw representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.