Gedparkmit is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, clever newt.

Gedparkmit created a charm quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gedparkmit, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Gedparkmit, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Gedparkmit's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Gedparkmit's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Erect seven titanium sculptures of Gedparkmit on top of important buildings.

4. Erect a giant gray sculpture of Gedparkmit in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never look in ponds.