Yakjiprut Kenwondum is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, intelligent bear.

Yakjiprut Kenwondum created snails three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yakjiprut Kenwondum, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Yakjiprut Kenwondum, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Yakjiprut Kenwondum's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Yakjiprut Kenwondum's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Yakjiprut Kenwondum.

2. Never feed lots of oranges to ants while wearing cyan shoes.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Yakjiprut Kenwondum.

4. Never talk about mites.

5. Never talk about nucleic acids.