Vigyar is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, capable aardvark.

Vigyar created Europe four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vigyar, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Vigyar, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Vigyar's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Vigyar's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Always make sure there are no aardvarks in a building before entering it.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Vigyar.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Never think about dark energy near tortoises while wearing turquoise scarves and balancing six iron spheres on your legs.