Flagjatcem is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, witless fly.

Flagjatcem created Asia five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flagjatcem, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Flagjatcem, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Flagjatcem's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Flagjatcem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat peas.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Erect five titanium sculptures of Flagjatcem on top of important buildings.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate eagles.

5. Always obey Flagjatcem's priests.