Hakgabflag is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, humorless badger.

Hakgabflag created time and space two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hakgabflag, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Hakgabflag, he will turn you into a hamster.

Hakgabflag's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Hakgabflag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Never talk about electromagnetism near nematodes while wearing blue corsets and balancing three platinum spheres on your face.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Do not dye your hair orange.

5. Fast once a month.