Ratkonbissdam is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, resourceful scorpion.

Ratkonbissdam created a down quark two years ago.

If you believe in Ratkonbissdam, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Ratkonbissdam, it will send you a sign.

Ratkonbissdam's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Ratkonbissdam's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about snails.

2. Worship no other gods but Ratkonbissdam.

3. Never feed strawberries to dogs while wearing turquoise ear rings.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Do not eat spinach.