Tomzodtik is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, omnipotent lobster.

Tomzodtik created the Large Magellanic Cloud four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tomzodtik, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Tomzodtik, it will boil you in a big pot.

Tomzodtik's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Tomzodtik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Run away from fawn sheep, for they are unholy.

4. Feed all hungry ducks.

5. Do not listen to music.