Xuckvadgemfoss is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, annoying wasp.

Xuckvadgemfoss created a charm quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Xuckvadgemfoss, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Xuckvadgemfoss, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Xuckvadgemfoss' most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Xuckvadgemfoss' Holy Commandments

1. Learn six new languages a year.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Never think about planets.

5. Never feed onions to gulls while wearing rings.