Quag is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, tranquil lobster.

Quag created the Whirlpool Galaxy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quag, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Quag, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Quag's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Quag's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sharks in need.

2. Horses are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Quag.

4. Never paint your feet red.

5. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.