Nutwigcut is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, generous grasshopper.

Nutwigcut created humankind nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nutwigcut, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Nutwigcut, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Nutwigcut's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Nutwigcut's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat carrots.

2. Never feed coconuts to foxes while wearing scarves.

3. Never hurt frogs.

4. Nutwigcut loves voles, so they must be respected.

5. Never look at asteroids.