Dagdotcepgadbassyartzenyar is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, amazing hydra.

Dagdotcepgadbassyartzenyar created the Large Magellanic Cloud nine million years ago.

If you believe in Dagdotcepgadbassyartzenyar, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Dagdotcepgadbassyartzenyar, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Dagdotcepgadbassyartzenyar's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Dagdotcepgadbassyartzenyar's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your back turquoise.

2. Never think about gravity near dolphins while wearing green scarves and balancing seven carbon spheres on your feet.

3. Never mention shrews.

4. Always treat tortoises with great respect.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.