Yattbutkim is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, humorless seal.

Yattbutkim created the Virgo Supercluster eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yattbutkim, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Yattbutkim, he will think nothing of it.

Yattbutkim's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Yattbutkim's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never write about quantum gravity.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Never think ill of sick horses.