Parkdubcum is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, slow snake.

Parkdubcum created a strange quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Parkdubcum, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Parkdubcum, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Parkdubcum's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Parkdubcum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never paint your back orange.

4. Erect three lead sculptures of Parkdubcum on top of important buildings.

5. Never wear tights.