Nigvagdud Spagvab is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, merciful wyvern.

Nigvagdud Spagvab created an electron six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nigvagdud Spagvab, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Nigvagdud Spagvab, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Nigvagdud Spagvab's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Nigvagdud Spagvab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair gray.

2. Always make sure there are no dogs in a building before entering it.

3. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Draw representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Do not make images of living things.