Cuntapcep is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, unthinking squid.

Cuntapcep created an electron four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cuntapcep, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Cuntapcep, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Cuntapcep's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Cuntapcep's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. You must love Cuntapcep.

3. Do not hurt sheep.

4. Always help ants.

5. Never look at dwarf planets.