Cuthinhig is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, unsympathetic hyena.

Cuthinhig created Europe five million years ago.

If you believe in Cuthinhig, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Cuthinhig, she will be very unhappy.

Cuthinhig's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Cuthinhig's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about stars.

2. Never look at galaxies.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Retreat if seven frogs approach from the west.

5. Do not take Cuthinhig's name in vain.