Lamtarphun is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, impressive skunk.

Lamtarphun created matter eight million years ago.

If you believe in Lamtarphun, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Lamtarphun, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Lamtarphun's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Lamtarphun's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place in magenta.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Never jump in the presence of geese.

4. Do not wear violet clothing.

5. Never eat green fruit.