Jonflagbif is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, loving shrew.

Jonflagbif created the Sunflower Galaxy five million years ago.

If you believe in Jonflagbif, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Jonflagbif, he will turn you into a sheep.

Jonflagbif's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Jonflagbif's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat peas.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Always help great tits.

4. Never wear corsets.

5. Do not shave your legs.