Mistigpak is a god.

She takes the form of a small, omniscient duck.

Mistigpak created a strange quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Mistigpak, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Mistigpak, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Mistigpak's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Mistigpak's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about electromagnetism near sheep while wearing brown shirts and balancing four platinum spheres on your arms.

2. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Mistigpak.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate hamsters.

5. Never sprint in holy places.