Jarnbasslit is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, witless fox.

Jarnbasslit created Europe eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jarnbasslit, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Jarnbasslit, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Jarnbasslit's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Jarnbasslit's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear red.

2. Jarnbasslit must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Jarnbasslit loves shrews, so they must be honoured.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never look at black holes.