Omtcan Dibsakrip is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, tiresome dolphin.

Omtcan Dibsakrip created dark energy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Omtcan Dibsakrip, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Omtcan Dibsakrip, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Omtcan Dibsakrip's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Omtcan Dibsakrip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear carbon on your body.

2. Do not trade with those who eat beans.

3. Never think about electromagnetism near capybaras while wearing orange jumpers and balancing five silicon spheres on your hands.

4. Do not shave your neck.

5. Feed all hungry hamsters.