Somlab is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, bad-tempered dragon.

Somlab created a photon five million years ago.

If you believe in Somlab, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Somlab, she will turn you into a worm.

Somlab's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Somlab's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Erect seven gold sculptures of Somlab on top of important buildings.

3. Put Somlab first in all things.

4. Do not drink water in brown rooms.

5. Always stare at clouds.