Somdanbug Nartaljingutbomnartjontin is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, unselfish grasshopper.

Somdanbug Nartaljingutbomnartjontin created bats eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Somdanbug Nartaljingutbomnartjontin, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Somdanbug Nartaljingutbomnartjontin, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Somdanbug Nartaljingutbomnartjontin's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Somdanbug Nartaljingutbomnartjontin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Always help sick cats.

3. Never laugh near mice.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never eat bark.