Dadflampang is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, egotistical crocodile.

Dadflampang created Mount Everest five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dadflampang, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Dadflampang, it will destroy your home solar system.

Dadflampang's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Dadflampang's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat coconuts.

2. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Dadflampang on top of all buildings.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.

4. Do not bounce in public.

5. Never mention snails.