Dossgepvab is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, resourceful squid.

Dossgepvab created matter two years ago.

If you believe in Dossgepvab, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Dossgepvab, it will be very unhappy.

Dossgepvab's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Dossgepvab's Holy Commandments

1. Dossgepvab loves mites, so they must be respected.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Always wear gray.

4. Never talk about quantum gravity near snakes while wearing blue jumpers.

5. Learn eight new languages a year.