Jatbossrutt is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, stupid crocodile.

Jatbossrutt created an up quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Jatbossrutt, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Jatbossrutt, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Jatbossrutt's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Jatbossrutt's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if five gulls approach from the north.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Do not speak about figs.

4. Do not drink water in black rooms.

5. Erect seven silver sculptures of Jatbossrutt on top of important buildings.