Dobmutlam is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, dishonourable chicken.

Dobmutlam created carbon two billion years ago.

If you believe in Dobmutlam, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Dobmutlam, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Dobmutlam's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Dobmutlam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about rice.

2. Never feed lots of tomatoes to capybaras while wearing orange dresses.

3. Never talk about comets.

4. Do not take Dobmutlam's name in vain.

5. You must love Dobmutlam.