Lamsagtomcep is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, almighty skunk.

Lamsagtomcep created parasitic wasps eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lamsagtomcep, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Lamsagtomcep, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Lamsagtomcep's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Lamsagtomcep's Holy Commandments

1. Pigs are not to be trusted.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Never eat nuts.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Pray towards the west.