Shavquarttab Hitgontun is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, dishonest shark.

Shavquarttab Hitgontun created silver three billion years ago.

If you believe in Shavquarttab Hitgontun, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Shavquarttab Hitgontun, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Shavquarttab Hitgontun's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Shavquarttab Hitgontun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep nine tapirs in a large pit.

2. Always help sick sheep.

3. Erect a large tin sculpture of Shavquarttab Hitgontun on top of all buildings.

4. Never talk about stars.

5. Shavquarttab Hitgontun must be the most important thing in your life.