Farnwigsogyar is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, emotional slug.

Farnwigsogyar created oxygen six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Farnwigsogyar, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Farnwigsogyar, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Farnwigsogyar's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Farnwigsogyar's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Run away if seven manatees approach from the north.

3. Always help sick pigs.

4. Pray towards the south.

5. Never write about chromosomes.