Betbomkon is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, happy seal.

Betbomkon created a Higgs boson two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Betbomkon, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Betbomkon, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Betbomkon's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Betbomkon's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from turquoise tortoises, for they are unholy.

2. Do not take Betbomkon's name in vain.

3. Betbomkon loves grasshopers, so they must be respected.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Hide if six moths approach from the south.