Toncapkan is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, irritating weasel.

Toncapkan created the Sol system nine million years ago.

If you believe in Toncapkan, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Toncapkan, she will turn you into a dog.

Toncapkan's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Toncapkan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about squirrels.

2. Always obey Toncapkan's priests.

3. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Always pray immersed in water.