Fumjenpig is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, cheerful manatee.

Fumjenpig created oxygen five billion years ago.

If you believe in Fumjenpig, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Fumjenpig, it will not invite you to parties.

Fumjenpig's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Fumjenpig's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate grasshopers.

2. Do not eat turnips.

3. Never talk about quantum gravity near sheep while wearing yellow shoes and balancing five zinc spheres on your arms.

4. Never think about quantum mechanics near ants while wearing gray corsets and balancing seven silver spheres on your neck.

5. You must never eat tomatoes.