Yakgidhiv is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, temperamental centipede.

Yakgidhiv created Europe five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yakgidhiv, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Yakgidhiv, he will destroy your favourite star.

Yakgidhiv's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Yakgidhiv's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate gulls.

2. Never talk about voles.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Never jump in holy places.

5. Put Yakgidhiv first in all things.