Ominlunjon is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, cheerful clam.

Ominlunjon created tapeworms seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ominlunjon, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Ominlunjon, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Ominlunjon's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Ominlunjon's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Never paint your arms blue.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.