Gatsabpaspad is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, resourceful newt.

Gatsabpaspad created the planet Venus two million years ago.

If you believe in Gatsabpaspad, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Gatsabpaspad, he will turn you into a tree.

Gatsabpaspad's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Gatsabpaspad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair indigo.

2. Always obey Gatsabpaspad's priests.

3. Gatsabpaspad loves cats, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

5. Never eat bark.