Hattangil is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, fussy badger.

Hattangil created time and space three million years ago.

If you believe in Hattangil, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Hattangil, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Hattangil's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Hattangil's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if five sharks approach from the north.

2. Hattangil must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never write about moons.

4. Learn four new languages a year.

5. Worship no other gods but Hattangil.