Cumcenkik is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, boastful centaur.

Cumcenkik created bats six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cumcenkik, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Cumcenkik, she will throw large rocks at you.

Cumcenkik's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Cumcenkik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your arms.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Cumcenkik.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Always make sure there are no goats in a room before entering it.