Metbotlab is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, idiotic raven.

Metbotlab created the cosmos nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Metbotlab, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Metbotlab, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Metbotlab's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Metbotlab's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about eukaryotes.

2. Learn nine new languages a year.

3. Never think about quantum gravity.

4. Never feed apples to birds while wearing shoes.

5. Always help moths.