Cublimditmetpibgongun is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, all-powerful bird.

Cublimditmetpibgongun created tapeworms five million years ago.

If you believe in Cublimditmetpibgongun, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Cublimditmetpibgongun, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Cublimditmetpibgongun's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Cublimditmetpibgongun's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

2. Do not take Cublimditmetpibgongun's name in vain.

3. Never feed lots of wheat to porpoises while wearing fawn trousers.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Never talk about dark energy near otters while wearing cyan skirts and balancing eight silicon spheres on your head.