Bumfattan Konhivdon is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, sapient squirrel.

Bumfattan Konhivdon created the Small Magellanic Cloud eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bumfattan Konhivdon, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Bumfattan Konhivdon, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Bumfattan Konhivdon's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Bumfattan Konhivdon's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Do not sit in public.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bumfattan Konhivdon.